Test of Time
This is a forum exclusive for all members who post at least 5 times (has not been edited since I wrote it decades ago). In the Downloads:About two weeks later, Clarissa was in his office taking dictation. Half way through the letter, the phone rang. Whoever was on the other end got him very agitated. He slammed down the
receiver. “Damn women...” He glanced up. “No offense.”
“How can I not take offense to that?”
“I wasn’t talking about you?”
“You said and I quote, ‘damn women’. That’s plural. You probably mean the entire female race.”
He stared at her for a moment. “Where is this coming from?”
“I know how you feel about women.”
“Oh, you do, do you? Okay, how do I feel about women?”
Clarissa bit her lip. She hadn’t meant to say that. “You already
know, why should I repeat it?”
“Maybe I want to see how close you are. How do I feel about
women?”
“You think that we’re all- No I can’t tell you.”
“Come on. Tell me.”
“No.”
“Tell me.”
“No!”
At her tone, he stared at her. “I think women are okay. I like
them.”
“Well, that’s good to hear.”
Clarissa stood up and walked to the window. She had never thought she would be talking to him like this. They had shared such a strict relationship up until now. She had always done such a good job of hiding her feelings from him. She had almost slipped up and let him know how she felt about him. She abruptly took a step backwards, turning around at the same time. Patrick had been standing right behind her. She tripped over his foot and went flying into his arms. Instinctively her hands went up to his chest. As her body made contact with his, an electric shock went through her. She sucked in her breath. She was very aware of his hands on either side of her waist. She slowly looked up into his eyes. The next thing she knew, they were kissing. After the very passionate exchange, Patrick pulled away.
“God, how did that happen?”
“Do you regret it?” At her hurt tone, his eyes flew back to
hers.
“You mean, you don’t?”
“Are you kidding? I’ve wanted it to happen for the past two months.”
“I had no idea.” He turned and walked back to his desk. He walked behind his chair and held on to the back of it. She watched as several emotions washed over his face. “Clarissa, I’ve been attracted to you ever since the first day you started work here. I’ve just been fighting it.”
She was stunned. Not only by the fact that he liked her too, but at the use of her first name. He had never before called her by her first name. She liked the way he said it. She tried to concentrate on what he just said. “Why did you feel that you had to fight it?” She knew the answer, but she wanted to hear it from him.
He stared at his hands for a moment. “You said you know how I
feel about women? How do you know?”
“I’ve heard things, but I want to hear it from you.”
When he glanced at her, she was surprised to see the vivid hurt in his eyes as he remembered. “I’ve never told anyone. I’ve always been one to keep things to myself. Somehow it got spread around... I guess she must’ve been the one.” Patrick looked away. For a minute Clarissa thought he wasn’t going to tell her, but then he just started talking. “When I had just turned 23, I met this girl. She was 17. Maybe she was too young for me, but I didn’t care. I was so crazy about her. I made up excuses to see her boss just so I could see her. Since he was a friend of mine, it was easy. I was so obvious... I was so stupid...I had never had a girlfriend before. I have always been awkward around them. I was also too busy to have a girlfriend, but there was something about Phoebe. I thought she was special. I thought my luck was changing when she asked me out. I didn’t even think twice when she wasted no time in making things intimate.” Patrick walked over to the window and looked out. Clarissa didn’t like to think of him sleeping with this Phoebe, even if it was over a year ago. She also didn’t like to think of how deeply that teenager had hurt him.
“About a month later, she dropped the bomb. When a certain something was a couple days late, she assumed she was pregnant. She told her boyfriend, who dropped her. She needed a way out, so she used me...I never thought I could ever hate anyone as much as I did her the day that she told me she wasn’t pregnant, so she didn’t need me anymore...I loved her. I didn’t want to give her up. When her boyfriend found out that she wasn’t pregnant, he wanted her back. She stood there and smiled when he and a few friends of his beat the shit out of me...” He paused as he thought of that. A look of intense hatred crossed his features. “If she had been pregnant and if it were mine, I would have taken her to court. I’d have that child taken away from her before I would have let her trap me into marriage.” His gaze dropped to the floor. “That is if I had been smart enough to see through her charade.”
Clarissa wasn’t quite sure of what to say. She cleared her throat. “Well, just be thankful it happened the way it did.”
He looked up at her sharply. “Thankful? Why should I be thankful? That bi-“
Clarissa cut him off. “Thankful that she wasn’t pregnant. Thankful that you didn’t have something to tie you to someone like her. Thankful that you got her out of your life.” And thankful that she was stupid enough not to want you, she finished in her mind.
When Patrick had first glanced up at her, she felt as if he had forgotten that she was there. All the hatred he had felt for Phoebe at that instant shot from his eyes. It made her flinch. When he continued to stare right through her, she continued.
“I’m not Phoebe, Patrick. Please, don’t judge all women on what
a spoiled teenager did.”
He finally focused on her. He turned away and walked to the window. “I am thankful that she is out of my life. I will never be stupid enough to fall for anyone. I won’t let any woman hurt me like that, again.”
“You know, we’re not all bad.”
His expression softened a bit. “Maybe in time I’ll believe that.”
“In the mean time, how about giving me a chance? You did say you were attracted to me, and I’m very much attracted to you.”
Slowly, he turned back to her. “Sure, I’m willing to give you a chance.” He finally smiled at her.
“You’re most kind.” She smiled back. With more courage than she usually felt, she walked over to him and hugged him. To her surprise, he hugged her back.
--
Jude